Divorce and Remarriage

Are the exception clauses in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9 intended to provide for divorce and remarriage when one of the partners commits adultery?

This is the question I will address in light of the apparent absolutes spoken by Jesus, and elsewhere in the Word of God. The question rose from a recent sermon, which included Mark 10:11-12. Some of my teaching on this passage is found in the previous blog, "What Did Moses Command?"

Mark 10:11-12
11 And He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her;
12 and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery."

Luke 16:18
"Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery.

Q. Would the hearers and readers in the first century have assumed that the above absolute statements of Jesus included exceptions (Matt. 5:32; 19:9)? I have significant doubts.

Look at the second half of Luke 16:18; he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery.
This could refer to a man who has divorced his wife, and remarried according to the first half of this verse. If the traditional view of Matthew’s exception clause is correct, then this woman is free to remarry…but not according to Jesus.
This could be an unmarried man who becomes married to a woman who is divorced. The divorce appears to be referred to by Jesus as a real divorce. If this man marries this divorced woman, he commits adultery. Why? Because God considers her still married to the husband who divorced her.

Let’s look at the exception clause in Matthew 5:32, which, I believe is not an exception clause at all.

Matthew 5:32 32 but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

This is simply saying that through divorce, a man makes his wife an adulteress…except in the case where she has made herself one...unchastity.

Where’s the exception clause here?
Q. If a man divorces his wife for the cause of unchastity, or not, isn’t she made to commit adultery either way, if she remarries?

Another interesting clue about the “clause” passages is how Matthew uses the word porneia in each passage, instead of moicheia which is translated, adultery. If adultery was what Matthew meant, why did he use the word porneia? Porneia (fornication) describes sexual activity by the unmarried. Matthew uses both words side-by-side in Matthew 15:19. Therefore, Matthew conceives porneia (fornication) as something different than adultery.

This clue leads us to the following clue. In John 8:41 the Jewish leaders indirectly accuse Jesus of being born of porneia…that Mary had committed fornication and Jesus was the result of this act. Now, looking back at Matthew 1:18-20, Joseph and Mary are betrothed to each other, not yet married. Betrothal is much more significant than our engagement. Joseph was going to (put away) Mary for this assumed porneia, and Matthew says he was “just” in his decision. Keep tracking with me. Now in Matthew 19:9, in order to avoid an inconsistency between what Matthew says about Joseph and what Jesus says about divorce, the Spirit of God, through Matthew, inserts the exception clause in order to show that the kind of divorce that one might pursue during a betrothal, on account of fornication, is not included in what Jesus had said about adultery. This is why the word porneia is used. Mary was not accused of committing adultery. She was only betrothed to Joseph. Joseph believed she committed porneia (fornication), not adultery, being not yet married.

Therefore, the exception clause in Matthew 19:9 was written to the Jewish culture in which a divorce (putting away) could take place in the betrothal stage. Putting a woman away in the betrothal stage cannot result in adultery. That’s why the word porneia is used, and not adultery. That’s why in the gospel of Mark and Luke, written to Gentiles, there is no exception clause. It’s only found in Matthew, which was written to the Jews. There is also no exception clause in Romans and 1 Corinthians.

We live in an age that holds a very liberal view of divorce and remarriage. Many in the churches today have experienced divorce and remarriage. How should a Christian couple, who’ve been divorced and remarried, respond to this teaching of Jesus? Here are some suggestions.

• They should say the same thing the Word of God says about the marriage. That’s what confession is. There is complete and total forgiveness from God, not only positionally, but experientially according to 1 John 1:8-9.
• They should not attempt to return to the first partner after entering a second union.
• They should not separate. The Bible does not give prescriptions for this particular case, but it does treat second marriages as having significant standing in God’s eyes. There were promises made and a union formed. Promises are to be kept and the union is to be sanctified to God. Staying in a second marriage is God’s will, and their ongoing relationship should not be looked on as adulterous.
• They are to live their lives to the glory of God, coming along side others with biblical truth and comfort for those who are struggling, encouraging and comforting others with the same comfort they received from God.
• They must receive and believe God’s forgiveness for them, and then live in the present to God’s glory.