Divorce and Remarriage

Are the exception clauses in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9 intended to provide for divorce and remarriage when one of the partners commits adultery?

This is the question I will address in light of the apparent absolutes spoken by Jesus, and elsewhere in the Word of God. The question rose from a recent sermon, which included Mark 10:11-12. Some of my teaching on this passage is found in the previous blog, "What Did Moses Command?"

Mark 10:11-12
11 And He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her;
12 and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery."

Luke 16:18
"Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery.

Q. Would the hearers and readers in the first century have assumed that the above absolute statements of Jesus included exceptions (Matt. 5:32; 19:9)? I have significant doubts.

Look at the second half of Luke 16:18; he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery.
This could refer to a man who has divorced his wife, and remarried according to the first half of this verse. If the traditional view of Matthew’s exception clause is correct, then this woman is free to remarry…but not according to Jesus.
This could be an unmarried man who becomes married to a woman who is divorced. The divorce appears to be referred to by Jesus as a real divorce. If this man marries this divorced woman, he commits adultery. Why? Because God considers her still married to the husband who divorced her.

Let’s look at the exception clause in Matthew 5:32, which, I believe is not an exception clause at all.

Matthew 5:32 32 but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

This is simply saying that through divorce, a man makes his wife an adulteress…except in the case where she has made herself one...unchastity.

Where’s the exception clause here?
Q. If a man divorces his wife for the cause of unchastity, or not, isn’t she made to commit adultery either way, if she remarries?

Another interesting clue about the “clause” passages is how Matthew uses the word porneia in each passage, instead of moicheia which is translated, adultery. If adultery was what Matthew meant, why did he use the word porneia? Porneia (fornication) describes sexual activity by the unmarried. Matthew uses both words side-by-side in Matthew 15:19. Therefore, Matthew conceives porneia (fornication) as something different than adultery.

This clue leads us to the following clue. In John 8:41 the Jewish leaders indirectly accuse Jesus of being born of porneia…that Mary had committed fornication and Jesus was the result of this act. Now, looking back at Matthew 1:18-20, Joseph and Mary are betrothed to each other, not yet married. Betrothal is much more significant than our engagement. Joseph was going to (put away) Mary for this assumed porneia, and Matthew says he was “just” in his decision. Keep tracking with me. Now in Matthew 19:9, in order to avoid an inconsistency between what Matthew says about Joseph and what Jesus says about divorce, the Spirit of God, through Matthew, inserts the exception clause in order to show that the kind of divorce that one might pursue during a betrothal, on account of fornication, is not included in what Jesus had said about adultery. This is why the word porneia is used. Mary was not accused of committing adultery. She was only betrothed to Joseph. Joseph believed she committed porneia (fornication), not adultery, being not yet married.

Therefore, the exception clause in Matthew 19:9 was written to the Jewish culture in which a divorce (putting away) could take place in the betrothal stage. Putting a woman away in the betrothal stage cannot result in adultery. That’s why the word porneia is used, and not adultery. That’s why in the gospel of Mark and Luke, written to Gentiles, there is no exception clause. It’s only found in Matthew, which was written to the Jews. There is also no exception clause in Romans and 1 Corinthians.

We live in an age that holds a very liberal view of divorce and remarriage. Many in the churches today have experienced divorce and remarriage. How should a Christian couple, who’ve been divorced and remarried, respond to this teaching of Jesus? Here are some suggestions.

• They should say the same thing the Word of God says about the marriage. That’s what confession is. There is complete and total forgiveness from God, not only positionally, but experientially according to 1 John 1:8-9.
• They should not attempt to return to the first partner after entering a second union.
• They should not separate. The Bible does not give prescriptions for this particular case, but it does treat second marriages as having significant standing in God’s eyes. There were promises made and a union formed. Promises are to be kept and the union is to be sanctified to God. Staying in a second marriage is God’s will, and their ongoing relationship should not be looked on as adulterous.
• They are to live their lives to the glory of God, coming along side others with biblical truth and comfort for those who are struggling, encouraging and comforting others with the same comfort they received from God.
• They must receive and believe God’s forgiveness for them, and then live in the present to God’s glory.

What Did Moses Command?

One day Jesus was put to another test.

Mark 10:2 Some Pharisees came up to Jesus, testing Him, and began to question Him whether it was lawful for a man to divorce a wife.

Matthew writes it like this:
Matt 19:3
Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?"

Jesus answers:
Mark 10:3-9
3 And He answered and said to them, "What did Moses command you?"
4 They said, "Moses permitted a man TO WRITE A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE AND SEND her AWAY." 5 But Jesus said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment.

They were quoting the well known passage on divorce found in
Deut 24:1-4
24 "When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house,

Q. What does “he has found some indecency in her” mean?
Since adultery would mean possible death…This may be something less than adultery.


and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house,
2 and she leaves his house and goes and becomes another man's wife,
3 and if the latter husband turns against her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her to be his wife,
4 then her former (1st) husband who sent her away is not allowed to take her again to be his wife, (WHY?) since she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the Lord, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God gives you as an inheritance.

The 1st husband cannot take her back because she is defiled.

Q. How did she become defiled? She had sexual relations with another man.
This passage does not advocate divorce. But attempts to limit its worst consequences for the wives.

God considered the first husband and wife as one flesh.

And even though a certificate was given, she became defiled by her second marriage. She committed adultery.

1 Cor 7:10-11
10 the wife should not leave her husband (divorce)
11(but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.

It’s interesting, when Jesus said "What did Moses command you?"
The Pharisees went to the Deut. 24 passage.

But Moses also wrote the Genesis 2:24 passage on marriage, which Jesus now quotes as He continues in Mark 10.


"Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment
6 "But from the beginning of creation, God MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE. 7 "FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER, 8 AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH; so they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 "What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."

There is God’s commandment.

Jesus is re-stating and recovering God’s will for marriage.


His opponents ask what is permissible.
Jesus asks what is commanded.

Once again, this blows the disciples away. They have questions.
Mark 10:10-12
10 In the house the disciples began questioning Him about this again.
11 And He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her;
12 and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery."

Why? Because the man and woman are now one flesh. Not two. Joined together by God, and He doesn’t unjoin them.


Luke 16:18 "Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery.


These must be the words of husband and wife.
"TILL DEATH DO US PART"


Rom 7:2-4
2 For the married woman is bound by law to her husband while he is living; but if her husband dies, she is released from the law concerning the husband.
3 So then, if while her husband is living she is joined to another man, she shall be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from the law, so that she is not an adulteress though she is joined to another man.

Till death do you part. It's a picture of death to the law and our marriage relationship to Jesus Christ.

4 Therefore, my brethren, you also were made to die to the Law through the body of Christ, so that you might be joined to another, to Him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit for God.

Is divorce and adultery the unforgivable sin? NO! Is there forgiveness? Absolutely!
What about abandoment by an unbelieving spouse (1 Cor. 7)?
And what about the Matthew passages which give grounds for divorce? Coming Soon.

Kingdom Greatness

One of the greatest baseball players to ever play the game was Willy Mays. He was one of my hero's from a young age. As a young boy I was listening to the Giants playing the Dodgers. Willy hit four home runs in that game. As a 10 year old I went to my first Big League game at the Los Angles Coliseum, and watched Willy hit one over the big fence in left field. That fence was only 201 ft. from home plate. Thirteen years later, in 1972, I found myself pitching batting practice to the New York Mets. It was Willy's last year, and he was now playing for the Mets. It was a moment I won't forget. When he came to bat, I thought if I could throw a few pitches past him, maybe make him look bad, I would be noticed…After every pitch I threw for a strike, all I saw was a white streak, line drive. Even in his last year he was great. Why was Willy Mays great? Because he was the best, the first, the greatest at what he did.

I, personally, still have that competitive spirit. Paul had it. He said, “run the race to win.”
The disciples also had that desire. One day Jesus asked His twelve men, "What were you discussing on the way?" But they kept silent, for on the way they had discussed with one another which of them was the greatest (Mark 9:33-34). Why were they silent? Guilt…shame…Their silence was a wordless confession.

Jesus recognizes in his disciples' desire for greatness a good thing…But they defined greatness by the standard and morality of the kingdom of this fallen world. Here's how Jesus set them straight.

35 Sitting down, He called the twelve and said to them, "If anyone wants to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all." 36 Taking a child, He set him before them, and taking him in His arms, He said to them, 37 "Whoever receives one child like this in My name receives Me; and whoever receives Me does not receive Me, but Him who sent Me" (Mark 9:35-37).

True greatness is not wanting to be first while others are second and third and fourth, but true greatness is the willingness to be last.

And true greatness is not positioning yourself so that others praise and serve you, but true greatness is putting yourself in a position to serve everyone else.

So Jesus doesn't condemn the quest for greatness. He radically transforms it. Go ahead and pursue it, he says. But the path is down, not up.

EX: Take pastors for example…The measure of true greatness is not how many people attend the church.
Or how much praise he receives.
Or how many books he has written.

But rather, how much heartfelt desire exists to serve others.
How much willingness to decrease while others increase.

Why did Jesus use the child as an example? In Jesus day, children and women were largely auxiliary members of society. Girls under 12 could be sold by their fathers as slaves. He is teaching us, we are to receive children, the least, the insignificant of society. When we do, we are receiving Him, ministering to Jesus, but more than Jesus, to God Himself. If a man receives the poor, the people who have no influence, and no wealth, and no power, the people who need things done for them, Jesus says he is receiving Me.

Getting old is not for sissies

When we walked out of the building this time, we were crying. Donna's uncle Bob is 92, blind, can hardly hear, and can't walk. He's in an assisted care facility in Glendale, CA. Now add confusion, and dementia.

Donna and her sister are the only family he has.

I wheeled uncle Bob out to the patio. We talked and ate lunch. He's had no desire to eat, so Donna fed her uncle. He actually ate. We carried on a good conversation for the first couple hours. After lunch Donna left the table for a moment, and uncle Bob told me, "Dave, you married one great woman." "You're right uncle Bob, I married up."

I said, "Uncle Bob, the most important thing now, is where you are going to spend eternity." He broke in and asked me what hell is like. I told him what the Bible says, and finished with, "Bob, you don't want to go there." I once again explained the gospel to him. It's interesting, because you have to speak loudly for him to hear. Therefore, all the other people on the patio could easily hear the gospel also.

Shortly after this uncle Bob completely left us. He went to another place, another realm, driven by dementia. It must have been an awful place, because it was "so hard" to listen to him like that. He did not come back. We left...until next time. Getting old is not for sissies.